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I better lift my foot, I think you getting too close

He is 41 and I’m 30. I enjoy his company. We slept together last week and I got emotional about it and freaked out. Responding to questions with a soft «yes, ma’am» and «no, sir» isn’t enough. Nor is walking bowlegged. Gear. I a 16 year old virgin and am scared of loosing my virginity because of the embarrasment of bleeding. I wanted to try using a dildo to loosen up a little and maybe break my hymen (im not quite sure what goes on down there to cause the bleeding) i haven fingered myself yet as I just want the pain over and done with by using a thicker and longer object similar to the size and texture of a penis when erect. Will this prevent pain and heavy bleeding when I do decide to have sex? Because that is exactally what I want to reduce or prevent completelly..

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